The First Step

Here I sit, on the dawn on a new chapter in life. I am 39 days from getting on a plane to go to South Africa. Not only am I going to South Africa, but I am going to spend 3 months there, in hopes to spend time with the man that’s turned into my best friend and main occupant of my heart.

It hasn’t been easy the past two years. I’ve left an extremely abusive situation, and an unstable life. I’ve overcome unemployment and self loathing. And he has been my rock through it all.

Somewhere amid it all, I fell in love.

I look in the mirror today, though, and realized….I’m not at all healthy. I struggle with toxic eating habits, and depression kept me hidden when I could be out and active. I have 39 days.

39 days to detox, 39 days to get things in order, and 40 days until I can finally stand in front of the man who has supported me from hell and back.

Despite a handful of false starts, I decided to use this next month to make a serious effort to water fast. In the past, I’ve found that detoxing is a powerful process, and the mental clarity significant. However…it sucks at first! Being an emotional eater, it’s been a battle.

Stepping on the scale today, I found myself at a staggering 287 lbs.

People always say I carry my weight well….but the burden compounds it. And I want to feel my best.

So, phase 1 will be a water fast. I’ll track my efforts daily and post my weights, as well as everything else that is going on in life, while I take the biggest risk and journey to date.

Happiness, love, and living each day like it’s my last. And hopefull, I will never see 28oish ANYTHING at the end of the process. ❤

Advertisements

About msladyvenom

I've decided that I wanted to make an impact in life as I start creeping further into my 30's....in life, love of self, and love of others. Follow me as I go through this journey of recreation.....the highs, lows, pains and smiles. I've struggled my whole life with self-image, from abusive relationships to deep depressions and heartbreaking losses. Granted, people are always faced with obstacles in life- but I waited too long to tackle mine.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s